The Sweet Life
“Hey, Jasz?”
“Yes luv?”
“You know, I’ve always wanted to ask you this but I’ve never been quite drunk enough to screw up enough courage to ask…”
“God mate, please don’t propose! Your wedding is tomorrow.”
“Haha, nothing like that, its just… Well…”
“Spit it out, I’m too drunk to care either way.”
“Well you know when I first met you over, what; 9 years ago you were like… HOT.”
“HAHA I still am hot, what’s your point?”
“I know but you were like really skinny hot. What happened?”
“I discovered that food was not to be eaten only for survival purposes. I now eat for enjoyment, and that is what happened. Besides, I really love my boobs this size now!”
“From what I can see from where I’m sitting I agree!”
“Careful luv, don’t forget your wedding tomorrow!”
“Yeah but I can still look right?”
“Eh, go ahead. As long as your wife doesn’t come after me for flaunting my cleavage all is good.”
~~~
If you are wondering what kind of skinny hot I was 9 years ago? Think Natalie Portman in Episode 2. Right now I’m more Renée Zellweger in Bridget Jones. But you know what? I don’t really give 2 fucks at this point.
What is the point of being stick insect thin really? To fit clothes better? Or to fit society’s perception better? Okay if your cholesterol levels are off the charts and your BMI is in the dangerous zone, or if you’re 300 pounds over what’s considered medically healthy, then yes – something needs to be done.
But to be skinny solely to be considered ‘hot’? C’mon, my self esteem (and body confidence) levels are much higher than the average anorexic teen and I have other things to flaunt besides looking like a clothes rack. Like my bodacious boobies and my black chick booty. Not to mention that I’m 177% smarter & funnier than the average anorexic teen, and probably more than 60% of women in my age group. (Don’t believe me? My Mensa score of 143 will attest to that.) But I digress. My point is that I don’t need to be skinny to be considered ‘hot’.
C’mon, life is meant to be LIVED to the fullest. Why wouldn’t anyone deprive themselves from food is beyond me. Some of you would remember that I lamented about needing to go on a DIEt a while back. Well I’ve since discovered that although meal replacement shakes really aren’t all that bad, it really doesn’t replace the ENJOYMENT I get from eating a really awesome meal.
Most of you who has ever had a meal with me will know that I’m the kind of person who really savours flavours in its entirety. It’s all about taste. And calories be dammed. Give me rare steak with a giant baked potato smothered in butter, sour cream, chives and bacon; chocolate filled sugar glazed doughnuts with coffee; full sized continental breakfast with eggs (with the yolk), ham, french toast, beans, bacon, mushrooms, cheese and fruit; real cream sauce; real chocolate; real butter even…
And I believe that living shouldn’t only apply to food! Sigmund Freud once said “the only unnatural sexual behaviour is none at all.” The world would be a better place if everyone enjoyed everything that they did – be it eating or working or shagging and just generally having fun.
And speaking of fun, I’m heading to the studio for some cha-cha-cha and after I’m going for ice-cream. Oh yeah baby, I’m living the sweet life.
