Rants & Raves of Jasmine’s Fiction

I was on the flight from

Bangkok

to

Singapore

recently and I was very pleasantly surprised (I will apologise for my leftover mindset from living in Islamic countries) to find out that Singapore Airlines serves… PORK!!!

I swear.  The pretty flight attendant was staring at me very expectantly for a couple of minutes while I gaped at the choice of food. “Ma’am?  Would you like the chicken with noodles, the fish with rice or the pork with mashed potatoes?”

Note:  For those of you who do not know me please understand that I don’t eat chicken but I will however do backflips and cartwheels for mashed potatoes and pork. Mmmmm. Pork.

You might also like to note that on most occasions I would rather DIE than eat airline food but the choice of PORK! And MASHED POTATOES!  On the same plate!!!  OMG it was too good to pass up.  I think when I came to my senses I almost shouted in excitement that I wanted the pork.

Of course I HAD to be seated next to a Muslim man.

Before you people call me out for being a racist bitch, I’m gonna backtrack a bit and tell you about the massive eye roll I got from my neighbour when I rocked up with my headphones and hand luggage. He took one look at me, rolled his eyes to his mate at the window seat next to him and muttered something.  I ignored him and tried to stow my hand carry.

That’s when I realised that there was no space in the overhead compartments!  Those two bozos had hogged up not one, not two, but THREE luggage racks. How do I know this?  It was filled with identical plastic baggies, 2 of which were on my seat due to the lack of space above.

Great.

Long story short, I ended up having to stow my bag about 8 compartments away from my seat, and the two idiots did not like the fact that they had to sit next to a girl. I kept hearing snide comments in Indonesian no less.  Fortunately (or unfortunately) I happen to be relatively fluent in Indonesian and I caught quite a fair bit of bashing despite having the Pussycat Dolls purring in my earphones.  Sigh.

Anyway back to my pork and mashed potatoes. My neighbour had requested his halal (kosher) meal and when I did the “PORK” shout to the flight attendant, he was not happy.  First a girl, now she is going to eat pork?  (Not like he’s so virtuous, the dumb beer swilling bastard!)

I was half tempted to slurp as MESSILY as I could and wiping my mouth with my sleeve closest to him and very casually resting my pork laced limb on the arm rest.  I had been winning the Arm-Restling war but what’s not to like about a bit of piggy leverage eh? I didn’t do it of course.  Tolerance is a virtue after all.

Hah tolerance.  That’s another story but I shall save that for another day. Like, when pigs fly.  In the meantime, I shall think back to my pork and mashed potatoes and drool.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 1st, 2007 at 10:40 pm and is filed under Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.