Scritch Scratch!
LORD ALMIGHTY. I itch to high heaven.
You know how people say the severity of the itch is proportional to the reach? I am thanking GOD at this very moment that I’m flexible. Unfortunately I’m a nail biter so the lack of fingernails is really hindering my relief. AND I think I’m about to develop RSI from repeating the [scritch scritch scritch] motion.
No you perverts. I’m not talking about an itch I can’t scratch, or anything of the sexual kind. I’m talking about massive anaphylactic shock allergic reaction.
Folks, I’ve broken out in rash of the unbelievably itchy & inflamed sort. And it’s covering some serious body real estate. I’m talking like I just rolled naked in a bikini in a VAT of poison ivy.
Seriously. I’m about a square inch of skin away from going insane. As this is being written I’m in the hospital getting animal grade antihistamines intravenously fed into my body to counteract this irritation.
BTW, this is AFTER I’ve swallowed 1080mg of Fexofenadine and liberally smeared an ENTIRE tube of hydrocortisone cream over every itchy surface of skin. That includes my eyeballs.
I’m gonna bet 10 bucks that within the next 10 minutes I will be screaming for the nurse to bring me a frigging wire brush so that I may scour off all the offending skin.
What triggered this off? One doctor thinks its something I ate. Another doctor thinks its something I’m taking. I don’t care either way. I just want this itch to go away. I’m getting the heeby-jeebies just looking at myself.
But right now? I need an extra set of hands. With fingernails. Someone come help me. Eh on second though, scratch that nevermind. Contrary to popular belief I can indeed scratch my own arse. And every other itchy surface. AARGH!
