Rants & Raves of Jasmine’s Fiction

I’ve always liked to think of myself as an animal person.  You know how some folks are ‘Bird People’ or ‘Cat People’ or even ‘Fish People’?  I’ve always insisted that I don’t play favourites but after reading about several incidents involving dogs in the papers recently, I can confirm that I am most definitely a DOG person.  Yup.  I love pups.

The story was about this disabled lady, Jamie Hanson, 49 who had previously lost her leg in an automobile accident.  Since then she had trained a 13 year old Labrador Retriever German Shepherd mix to assist her in her daily life.  Basically she treated the pup like her own child and that pooch, having incredibly intelligent genetics seemed to understand Ms Hanson’s every word. 

Good doggie!  J

Now Ms Hanson also had a pet cat.  I don’t mind cats generally but I don’t like how they never respond when you call them and I hate it when they rip up your furniture.  Cats are also not highly rated on the ‘human intelligence’ scale. 

Ms Hansen was watching TV one evening when her feline suddenly decided to run along the back of the couch and jump onto the table that had a lit scented candle on it, consequently knocking it over.  A pot of artificial plants that resided nearby ignited instantaneously.

Bad kitty!  L

Ms Hansen, now panicking, fell off her couch and tried crawling for her artificial leg.  The flames, fuelled by numerous accelerants began to consume everything in its destructive path.

In the meantime, the smart doggie retrieved the cordless phone and brought it to Ms Hansen so that she may call 911 for help.  The pup also brought Ms Hansen’s prosthetic leg that she may get up and leave the house.

Fetch!  Good doggie!

Ms Hansen tried to put on her leg but it was too hot but not to worry!  The clever pooch returned to aid her once more.  Half dragging Ms Hansen, the dog managed to get its owner out of the house away from danger.

Sit!  Stay!  Good doggie!

At this time, the cat decided that it didn’t like the heat and started mewing.  The dog, upon hearing the cat in distress; disobediently left Ms Hansen and returned into the flaming house to get the cat.  Ms Hansen screamed and screamed for the dog to come back to her to no avail.

Sigh.  Play dead.  L  Poor doggie.

The burning house collapsed only moments after the dog went in.  Ms Hansen was the only survivor.

Sigh.

On another count, the [insert anal-retentive religion here] headmistress of a local girl school caught sight of her students feeding and petting a friendly stray dog in the school compound and she called in the dog catchers to ‘deal with the problem.’ 

The dog catchers promptly came during school hours with a shotgun and blasted the poor creature.  UNFORTUNATELY, the poor dog didn’t die from the shot.

So bleeding profusely and in terrible pain, the dog tried to run away so the dog catchers used a MEAT HOOK and skewered the poor mutt while the dog was still alive in front of the whole school of screaming girls.

One can only imagine the torment and agony that pitiful animal was going through.

I am a Catholic and as a rule I don’t believe in extraterrestrial life or animals having souls.  In the case of doggies, I sincerely hope that I am wrong about the souls and I sincerely hope that all doggies go to heaven.

I’m going to go cry in my shower now.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 22nd, 2006 at 9:03 pm and is filed under Current Affairs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.