Rants & Raves of Jasmine’s Fiction

I don’t get it when people order steak well done.  Well done is when your meat is incinerated to resemble the bottom of your leather shoe.  When I ask these ‘connoisseurs’ about it, half of them will tell me they tell me that they don’t like the taste of blood.

What’s wrong with the taste of blood?  It’s juicy, slightly salty and metallic tasting, and it adds to the general yummy flavour of your steak.  I’d take warm blood any day over charred flesh.  Imagine the carcinogens you are ingesting.  But at least they are eating meat for what it is. 

Unlike the other half of the well done crowd.

They tell me that they don’t like their food bleeding all over their plate.  Oh right.  These are the same people that orders horribly expensive filet mignon well done and then proceeds to SMOTHER it with ketchup.

&%@#!!!

And these people have the gall to look at me weird when I order meat medium rare to mooing.  Bite me.  I like my steak so rare that it’s blue.  Sear it lightly on both sides so it’s got its beauty marks, then the best part!  The blood on the inside is completely warm.  Better if it’s served on a bed of mashed potatoes.  All the warm, juicy blood gushes out and soaks my spuds.  No need for gravy, no need for ketchup and no need for a steak knife.  I use a fork.  Bliss. 

Oh quit making faces at me! It’s not like I’m sucking down blood sausages okay?

Let’s be real.  Our society is obsessed with the liquid of life.  Don’t believe me?  Look at the evidence:

Religion (the Blood of Christ)

Legend (blood drinkers)

Monarchy (royal blood / blue blood)

Relationship (blood ties)

Emotion (nosebleed / blood lust / in cold blood / bloodthirsty)

Medicine (bloodletting)

Sports (bloodsport)

Violence (bloodbath / bloodshed / first blood)

Physical (bloodshot)

Food (blood orange / blood sausage / blood pudding)

Animals (bloodhound /blood eagle / blood suckers)

etc…

While you contemplate the life in all its bloody glory, I’m going to indulge in my daily dose of iron.

Chef, make it moo!

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 26th, 2006 at 11:32 pm and is filed under Food and Drink. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.