Rants & Raves of Jasmine’s Fiction

I love movie days; it means I get to do fuck-all and zone out in a dark, air-conditioned room and eat all the junk food I want for 2 odd hours.  Life is good.  Provided you don’t have to take a leak.  Anyway.

Yesterday 5 of us boys (I’m classified as a guy when I hang out these buggers); 3 vampires (that’ll be me, Cye’Ren & Khayman), 1 werewolf (Ursa), and 1 weregoat (Lost) went to watch that new vampire and werewolf sequel - Underworld Evolution.  Something about the immortal twin sons of Corvinus the First Immortal; one bitten by a bat hence turning into a vampire and the other bitten by a wolf hence turning into a werewolf.  If you have seen the first movie you know its all violence, guns, blood, nasty werewolf transformations, gore, crap being blown up, fangs, sex and Kate Beckinsale in the tightest rubber catsuit.  Woo.  Yeah.  Then you know the sequel to that kind of movie means there’s more violence, guns, blood, crap being blown up etc and of course; Kate Beckinsale in the tightest rubber catsuit.  Woo.  Yeah.  Told you I’m a guy.

So we loaded up on hotdogs, cola, popcorn, fish & chips, sweet corn, more popcorn and went in to watch the movie.  We were surrounded by couples on dates - the guys go for the violence and Ms. Beckinsale and the girls go for Scott Speedman (who?) and the very reason to scream and cling on to their boyfriends.  This the one of the reasons I love watching ‘horror/action’ films.  Plenty of action on the screen, and plenty of people getting some action around us!

FUNNY AS HELL!

We had really good seats, right in the middle of the middle of the theatre.  We were also eating really noisily (gimme a break, YOU show me how one eats popcorn quietly) and chuckling through the opening sequence and we got quite a few nasty "shhhhhhhh" from the plebeians but we don’t care.  The movie, while being rather action/gore packed was rather…  Corny.  There were so many clichés!  Like every time the two protagonists were having a tender moment *gag* a giant vampire bat on steroids or a overgrown walking hairball on steroids or a massive piece of rock hurled by the aforementioned two creatures on steroids would impale/crush/land on the poor couple!  Cue screams from the girls in the audiences and cue roaring laughter from the 5 of us.  Oh I cannot leave out the corniest lines like:

        Seline:  What will I become?

        Corvinus:  The future!

*cue dramatic music*

HAHA!  Like tell me that’s not the corniest line ever!  Overall the movie was interesting enough.  The plot was a bit thin, there was way too many things being blown up, the graphics and special effects were not as ‘realistic’ as we would have liked it to be but all in all it was a rather good comedy/zone out movie.  Of course Kate Beckinsale spending the entire movie running around in that tightest rubber catsuit doesn’t hurt.  Neither did the caramel popcorn.  Mmm.  Popcorn.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 12th, 2006 at 9:15 pm and is filed under Film. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.